FOOD & DRINK

The Killa is all Filler

July 5, 2012

Killa Burger Grill
Cnr of Burwood Rd and Hume Hwy, Burwood Heights

Chris Ryan comes off second best to one of Sydney’s biggest burgers

There is a burger chain in Sydney that has made a firm decision: Quantity trumps quality. At the Killa Burger Grill you can take on a challenge to eat a burger that’s 30cm in diameter, with large chips, a 1.25L drink, and a soft serve desert. There is no prize if you complete the challenge within an hour. There is only the glory of having your name added to the Killa Wall of Fame.

I tell the girl at the counter I’m tackling the Killa Challenge. I expect her to gasp and warn me against it, like a woman begging her beau not to go to war. She asks for $29, hands me a buzzer, and looks past me to the next customer.

When I collect my meal I’m given a document to read over. I sign the waiver and accept all the risks that come with eating a burger bigger than my head, from a perforated stomach to an impacted colon.

 

You don’t climb Everest to look at the scenery (I’m guessing). I’m not tackling the Killa Challenge for the taste sensation. I jam the burger in my gob without savouring the bland meat patty. In five minutes I’ve swallowed a quarter. I’m halfway through at the 15 minute mark. I never get passed the third quarter.

At the thirty minute mark there is a hard ball of food squashed into my gut. I take a break from the burger and try some chips. A star of the meal at the beginning, now they have turned soggy. Every chip I force down comes close to triggering a vomit reflex. The burger itself has gone cold and the fat congealed. I would have more luck eating a bag of cement than struggling through another bite.


Before and after

There is a steady stream of customers passing through the store. No one is interested in my epic struggle. And to be honest I’m not either. I start playing with my food: anything to avoid eating it. In the final minutes I go and fetch my dessert – a tub of soft serve with glowing strawberry topping – to see how far I am from completing the Killa Challenge.

I leave the burger joint feeling ashamed that I’ve fallen so short of my goal and disgusted that I’ve eaten so much. I know I didn’t push myself to the limit. If I did I would have blown chunks of burger into the takeaway joint’s toilet. And I’d prefer to have left it there, rather than have it sitting in my stomach.

Know another eating challenge we can fail at? Click the icon on the right and like our facebook page to lay down the gauntlet.



MORE


Leave a Reply



MORE FOOD & DRINK


Animals

A Dog's Life

A Dog’s Life

On a narrow street in Newtown a giant dog towers above the traffic. Passers-by double take at the massive sculpture. Cars slow down as they pass the trailer it sits on, and come to a stop as drivers stare.

No Comments




Penrith

The Placid Pugilist

The Placid Pugilist

With three professional fights to his name Ben Wrotniak is far from a seasoned boxer. You can imagine people still describing the 26-year-old as “a good kid.”

3 Comments




Pubs

A Piss Up in a Brewery

A Piss Up in a Brewery

Sydney Outsider’s Tom Collins gets on the sauce at the source.

No Comments




Photography

Sydney After Dark

Sydney After Dark

The Sydney sold in tourism ads is one of golden beaches, blue skies and a sparkling harbour. In a series of noirish photographs Christian Ferreiro, a graphic designer, has captured an altogether different place.

No Comments




Events

The Million Poos Walk

The Million Poos Walk

The RSPCA’s fundraising day was full of good intentions. But Jeremy Chunn found that with thousands of well-fed dogs, the scene soon turned ugly.

No Comments




History

Sydney's Missing Islands

Sydney’s Missing Islands

Three of our islands exist only in name because they have been sold by mysterious debtors. We demand to know: Where are our islands? And who got the money?

1 Comment




Art

An Artist's Eye for Sydney

An Artist’s Eye for Sydney

Perth artist Mike Rigoll finds, “Every truly big city has its own energy: a heady, pulse-quickening verve that can overwhelm or inspire in equal measure.”

1 Comment




North Bondi

Raising a Stink in North Bondi

Raising a Stink in North Bondi

“What is that thing?… And what’s that smell?” Anyone who’s spent enough time in North Bondi for the wind to change direction will have heard a visitor ask such questions.

1 Comment




Cheap Feeds

Pigging Out

Pigging Out

In the bain-maire at Four Seasons Chicken Spot in Kings Cross, the pickings are slim but fatty.

No Comments




Animals

Statue Rubbed Up the Wrong Way

Statue Rubbed Up the Wrong Way

A tribute to two Sydney surgeons has been molested by people who can’t understand the simple instruction, “Rub my nose.”

2 Comments





Copyright © 2014 Sydney Outsider. All Rights Reserved