An independent report commissioned by Sydney Outsider uncovers the truth of Mike Baird’s character.

In 2014, when Mike Baird replaced wine connoisseur Barry O’Farrell as Premier, he looked like a safe pair of hands to take over the running of New South Wales. A relatively fresh-faced 46 year old, he exuded all the confidence you’d expect to be instilled in someone educated at the esteemed King’s School in North Parramatta (current annual fees, about $30,000).

In recent months his popularity has waned in some quarters, following his decision to shut down late-night venues and cut down ancient figs. Now, thanks to an independent report commissioned by Sydney Outsider we can reveal that he is actually a bit of a shit.

This differs from how the Baird government handles the reports it commissions. When they contain uncomfortable truths, as a 2014 review of compulsory acquisition laws did, the reports are buried. That’s why houses across Sydney are being knocked over for WestConnex without homeowners getting fair compensation.

One of Mike Baird’s shittiest moves has been undermining democracy, sacking 42 councils and installing unelected administrators to run 19 new councils. The Sydney Morning Herald reported that consultancy firm KPMG helped come up with merger proposals in July 2015 – before amalgamations were announced – but was still deemed an independent arbiter of the financial benefits of those same mergers.

The independent report Sydney Outsider commissioned into Mike Baird’s character found that getting the same company that planned mergers to spruik their benefits was the act of a shameless shit.

While Sydney Outsider’s independent report has the utmost integrity, the Baird government has a penchant for commissioning dodgy reports. This was evident when they had the Boston Consulting Group report on ways to make TAFE more efficient. The report compared TAFE unfavourably to private education operator Australian Careers Network, which since collapsed and stands accused of fraud.

A report so flawed should have been shredded along with the note Barry O’Farrell sent to Liberal Party fundraiser Nick Di Girolamo, thanking him for a $3,000 bottle of plonk. Instead the Baird government has followed recommendations from the report as it cuts funds to TAFE.

The Sydney Outsider report on Baird found that only someone who was full of shit or had shit for brains would do this.

Under Baird’s government TAFE fees have risen dramatically, while student numbers have dropped. Of course, affordable vocational education might not seem necessary to a former investment banker who, in going to King’s, enjoyed the best connections – if not education – money could buy.

While Sydney Outsider’s report was compiled by NGOs that support good governance, Baird’s government often commissions reports from multinational companies. Not surprisingly, they often find state assets would be better managed by multinational companies.

But it doesn’t always run to plan – and the Liberal government was accused of interfering with a less-than glowing report on power privatisation compiled by UBS.

In the case of the independent report into Mike Baird that Sydney Outsider commissioned, you can rest assured that we exerted absolutely no influence on the investigators.

The conclusion they came to in their report, after an exhaustive look at the way Baird commissions reports with forgone conclusions to justify his anti-democratic, pro-corporate agenda, was a simple one: Mike Baird is a piece of shit.

Photo by Eva Rinaldi, used under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 licence.