RANDOM READS

The Million Poos Walk

January 14, 2012

The Sydney Outsider team is taking a hardly-earned break over summer. To find out when we are uploading fresh content subscribe to our newsletter. Otherwise check back in a month or so and we are sure to have new stories.

On Sunday May 15 the RSPCA held its 18th annual Million Paws Walk, which raised a bunch of money for unloved mutts and saw a lot of glorious ordure spread about Cathy Freeman’s new park. Jeremy Chunn reports.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals fights for the four-legged and impoverished, the voiceless and dirty, the kicked-about and wild-eyed. It’s an endless task. And they don’t have enough money. But dog-lovers are an evangelical subspecies of humankind and somehow the RSPCA can tune these people to act as disciples for their cause.

That’s how a dog-hater can be convinced to pay $30 to walk four kilometres in a public park with his two kids among bushy-haired animals who won’t ever end up in the organisation’s cages at Yagoona, and their passionate, look-alike owners.

The dog people arrive early and park their shampooed cars in the high-revenue spots of an otherwise totally empty Homebush Olympic Park. It’s a nice sunny day and all the animals have had their bowels tightly packed at breakfast. We queue through a starting gate, show our registration papers and then are launched v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y into a thick column of humanity and Canis lupus familiaris.

Very soon we see our first collision of what look like wholemeal bread rolls. The turds are large and almost humanoid. We say little and move on.

The next heap is darker, smeared at one end, but also very large. My dog-loving friend expresses her disappointment. “Oh dear,” she says. “Someone should have picked that up.”

We detour the animal waste and move on, among sheep dogs, dachshunds, terriers, a great dane, those bull-nosed aggro ones that eat people’s limbs, a few miniature dobermans who should be put to sleep before they get any bigger, whippets, lots of those white little ones that always have their tongues sticking out, a huge black thing that was dribbling a white rope of saliva, something that looked like a small horse but which was a dog and various other forms of furry barrel.

Slowly we arrived at a grassy area to be handed water bottles and hand sanitiser by RSPCA volunteers as the leashed beasts sprang into scalloped kids’ playtubs of water that quickly turned brown. Around us could be seen small piles of faecal matter.

We pressed on. With only a kay to go, long coloured skids told of more “accidents”. All dog-owners surely know you can’t pick up a smear and put it into a little plastic bag. Oh no. “Ooops! Sorry, mate. I was just about to pick that up. Sorry about your… open-toed shoes…”

My son stopped to let my friend’s dog drink from his bottle. The animal later stopped to peel some poo from the ground and eat it. “You’ll need to boil that bottle when you get home,” she said.

And I did boil his bottle. Twice. And then threw it out. Even the hand sanitiser went in the bin.



MORE


Leave a Reply



MORE RANDOM READS


Sydney

Dragons, Gorillas and Giant Shoes

Dragons, Gorillas and Giant Shoes

A picture’s worth a thousand words. Enjoy a roughly-written 5000 word essay on 24-hours in Sydney.

No Comments




Pubs

A Piss Up in a Brewery

A Piss Up in a Brewery

Sydney Outsider’s Tom Collins gets on the sauce at the source.

No Comments




People

The Garbo Guru

The Garbo Guru

Mitch Marinic, 17, has chased down garbage trucks all over Sydney to film and photograph them, and now he’s working as a garbo. He gives his insights into the city’s dirty secrets.

No Comments




Clovelly

Deep Blue in the Sea

Deep Blue in the Sea

Chris Ryan is enchanted by a creature of the not-so-deep in Clovelly.

No Comments




Ali Kaneet

Scruffy's is the Schnit

Scruffy’s is the Schnit

Scruffy Murphy’s is more associated with glassings than gastronomy. As a serious foodie who eats at least three times a day, I’m a little nervous about what the chef will plate up.

1 Comment




Art

Protest Blocked

Protest Blocked

How the depressing daily journey into work was made just a little more depressing, so the people of Pine Street could get a good night’s sleep.

Comments Off




North Bondi

Raising a Stink in North Bondi

Raising a Stink in North Bondi

“What is that thing?… And what’s that smell?” Anyone who’s spent enough time in North Bondi for the wind to change direction will have heard a visitor ask such questions.

1 Comment




History

Sydney's Missing Islands

Sydney’s Missing Islands

Three of our islands exist only in name because they have been sold by mysterious debtors. We demand to know: Where are our islands? And who got the money?

1 Comment




Wollongong

The Bell Above the Gong

The Bell Above the Gong

Chris Ryan was driving to Wollongong, expecting to see smog rising from steelworks, when instead he was struck by a tall, Oriental-style building rising above the landscape.

No Comments




Art

The Painted Lady

The Painted Lady

A French-born artist’s twenty year devotion to his work has turned a patch of graffiti into a Sydney landmark.

1 Comment





Copyright © 2014 Sydney Outsider. All Rights Reserved