NEWS & FEATURES

Mud, Sweat and Beers

February 13, 2012

On Saturday the picturesque and normally peaceful Glenworth Valley was invaded by over eight thousand men and women. Some came in business suits and ball gowns, others dressed as orcs and cavemen, or fairies and fat ladies. Though to be honest, most people hadn’t bothered to dress-up at all, and came in old t-shirts and board shorts. A few blokes keen to show off their abs didn’t even bother with the t-shirt.

The assembled horde had gathered for the Warrior Dash: a five-kilometre run with obstacles including cargo nets, rope climbs, flaming hay bales, and mud pits. Before tackling the course competitors handed over signed release forms. They confirmed that, among other things, they understood “obstacles may go through water, which has not been tested for chemicals or disease,” and that they accepted the “risk of wild animals and insects that may be present on the course.”

The weather made the already rugged track harder to navigate. A wild hailstorm tore through the valley, pelting competitors waiting to run, and leaving the ground more treacherous than it had begun. That said, it was clear from the beer guts and love handles of some competitors you didn’t need to be an athlete to complete the run.

The course did find some victims. A bigger girl struggled up a rope then slid down the way she had climbed, earning herself painful rope burns. One bloke lay by the track and sucked on an ampoule of morphine while he was treated for a busted ankle. No one was torn apart by a wild animal and it’ll be a few days until we know if there has been an outbreak of giardia from the filthy water.

Competitors relished rolling about in the muck and crossed the line with smiles shining from their mud-caked faces. They grabbed their medals and headed to a stagnant creek where they emptied kilos of mud from bras and undies and took another chance with waterborne diseases. From there it was to the bar for the beer that was included in the entry fee.

War stories were shared over beer steins and turkey drumsticks. Most people were in high spirits but there were exceptions. “It’s dirty, disgusting and dangerous,” complained one woman with a penchant for alliteration. The bloke with her nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah,” he said, “I can’t wait to do it again next year.”



MORE


Leave a Reply



MORE NEWS & FEATURES


Art

An Artist's Eye for Sydney

An Artist’s Eye for Sydney

Perth artist Mike Rigoll finds, “Every truly big city has its own energy: a heady, pulse-quickening verve that can overwhelm or inspire in equal measure.”

1 Comment




Events

The Million Poos Walk

The Million Poos Walk

The RSPCA’s fundraising day was full of good intentions. But Jeremy Chunn found that with thousands of well-fed dogs, the scene soon turned ugly.

No Comments




Sydney

Dragons, Gorillas and Giant Shoes

Dragons, Gorillas and Giant Shoes

A picture’s worth a thousand words. Enjoy a roughly-written 5000 word essay on 24-hours in Sydney.

No Comments




History

Sydney's Footpath of Fame

Sydney’s Footpath of Fame

If you’ve wasted money visiting Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in LA, it will sting you to find out you could have had the same thrill closer to home.

No Comments




Music

Bludging Busker is One of the Best

Bludging Busker is One of the Best

Joseph has the Wednesday evening commuters bouncing to a reggae beat.

No Comments




History

Sydney's Missing Islands

Sydney’s Missing Islands

Three of our islands exist only in name because they have been sold by mysterious debtors. We demand to know: Where are our islands? And who got the money?

1 Comment




History

A Lion Among Cats

A Lion Among Cats

A statue and two plaques commemorate the life of an explorer’s much-loved feline friend, but gloss over his grisly end.

No Comments




People

The Garbo Guru

The Garbo Guru

Mitch Marinic, 17, has chased down garbage trucks all over Sydney to film and photograph them, and now he’s working as a garbo. He gives his insights into the city’s dirty secrets.

No Comments




Cheap Feeds

Pigging Out

Pigging Out

In the bain-maire at Four Seasons Chicken Spot in Kings Cross, the pickings are slim but fatty.

No Comments




Art

The Painted Lady

The Painted Lady

A French-born artist’s twenty year devotion to his work has turned a patch of graffiti into a Sydney landmark.

1 Comment





Copyright © 2014 Sydney Outsider. All Rights Reserved